Christian courtship versus dating websites
They talk about feeling broken or unworthy, that they’ve missed some sort of open time frame where they could lose their virginity and now they’re (metaphorically) screwed.
It feels like to 50 – that they can’t bring themselves to talk about it.
The second is that by focusing on being A Virgin – making it part of your identity – you indulge in a form of confirmation bias; you see couples together and immediately assume that they’re fucking even though they’re on their first date.
You dismiss the people who still aren’t having any.
My bitterness and resentment made me a prime, self-pitying asshole costs. Like many virgins, I was convinced that doing so would be a cheat or would render it invalid. Long story short different (aside from “holy shit I had sex”). I hadn’t been magically cured of all my ills and insecurities.
They so fear rejection for being virgins that they can’t bring themselves to approach women.What makes this especially twisted is the way we internalize the pressure to fuck, to be a virgin.When we fail to follow the narrative we get angry, lashing out at others and haranguing ourselves in turns.We get the Standard Virginity Loss Narrative burned into our minds early on, reinforced over and over again by pop-culture until we start to believe it’s the TRVTH, carved into stone tablets delivered to us at the base of Mount Sinai.The story turns our sexual development into a performance, just as masculinity is often a performance.
On Monday, I talked a little about the toxic culture surrounding masculinity and how it hurts men.